BPD in The Black Community: We do Exist.

BPD is known as one of the hardest disorders to treat, manage, and live with. It’s described as a rapid roller coaster you can’t get off. And yes, it does exist in the black community. We exist, and I’ll be honest; it’s a struggle every day to continue to exist.

What is BPD?

BPD or Boderline Personality disorder, according to Psycom: A personality disorder is a pattern of feelings and behaviors that seem appropriate and justified to the person experiencing them, even though these feelings and behaviors cause a great deal of problems in that person’s life.

The unstable patterns come from intense emotional reactions, impulsive behaviors, and a phenomenon where you push people to the edge of leaving and beg for them to come back, that’s what BPD looks like. Do you know somebody like this? Or did I describe you? I know it’s hard, but I will describing everything you or your loved one can do in order to manage BPD in a later blog post or video.

Other symptoms of BPD include:

• A History of unstable relationships
• Feelings of isolation, boredom, and emptiness
• strong feelings of anxiety, worry, depression.
• Constant fear of abandonment or rejection
• Shifting self-image.
• And muchhh more.

Diagnosis

So this is the tricky part. It’s no myth that black women are especially not taken seriously about mental health concerns. My personal story is below where you will find out it took me 11 years to get diagnosed. Seeking help for BPD is important. There are a few ways that you might find luck in pursing.

Get a Therapist. Your therapist will be able to tell whether you have BPD after a few sessions. A THERAPIST WITHOUT A PSYCHARTIC DEGREE SUGGESTING YOU HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT A PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS. Therapy is, however, a step in the right direction and a way to manage it. 

Take A Mental Health Assessment. A mental health assessment can be taken in your state from any mental health or health clinic. Many free online mental health assessments will not give you an accurate diagnosis.

Mental Health In The Black Community

Maybe you grew up hearing the term “just pray and you’ll be okay” or “depression is for white people.” We need to get rid of those narratives. Mental health issues can be caused by ancestral trauma, childhood trauma, genetics, etc! Our mind should be as nourished as our bodies and the only way to do so is by stopping the narratives that make it taboo to have mental health issues or just write it off as being crazy.

Brandon Marshall is speaking out

I am heavily inspired by NFL player Brandon Marshall . Marshall lives with Borderline Personality disorder and has become an advocate for it. When I searched for black celebrities with BPD he was the only person I could find. I commend and admire him for being so open and he has inspired me to do the same. It’s not every day that a cis black male comes out as mentally ill, especially with something as demonized as BPD.

My BPD Story

When I was a kid I remember feeling emotions intensely. Someone would bully me and I literally would want to die. Everyone told me to toughen up and have thicker skin, no matter how much I tried I could not.

I read about BPD when I was 16 years old, I would insist to the therapist that I had this, but like many black women, I was unseen and unheard. Many who know me know I have had more relationships than you can count on two hands. All ending in some tragedy. I can’t say they were all my fault, but I can take responsibility and state that many were. In 2017 a black female therapist heard my story and listened intensly at every session and one day she locked eyes with me and said:

“Brettina have you ever considered that you might have Borderline Personality Disorder”

I never in my life thought something so f***ed up would bring me so much joy. I bawled like a baby. She saw me. She heard me.

Please Seek Help, Community, and Healing.

I’m asking that anyone facing any sort of mental illness in the black community, please seek help however you can. You deserve it, and you are not alone. Also, if you are black and want to be a therapist; GET THAT MASTERS SIS!!! WE NEED YOU!!

We exist. And in that existence, are not alone.

Solidarity,

Feature photo credit: Mckinzee Buschmannand Theresa Bear.